(Brace yourself. This will probably offend someone.)
So, I was wandering around Walmart with my sister recently and we happened upon the Easter aisle. You know the one. It's packed with Reese eggs (love those), jumbo Reese eggs (love those even more), Peeps, jelly beans, Easter grass (dogs love that) and the CHOCOLATE BUNNY (this is more effective if you imagine it being announced in an echoey voice.)
The bunny. It is essential to any young, hyper, chocolate loving child's Easter basket (mine too, but that is not the point.)
First and foremost it's amazing that those who aren't religious celebrate Easter at all. I mean do parents realize that the Easter bunny and eggs both symbolize fertility? I mean essentially we are encouraging children to make babies, awkward. Also awkward, in most children's farm animal books, chickens and bunnies seem to get along. BUT for some reason the Easter bunny can steal chicken eggs and give them to children? What? Isn't that...creepy?
Ok, ok, I'm off track. Back to Walmart.
In the Easter aisle I discovered Dude Bunny. Oh yes my friend, chocolate bunnies are not only egg stealers, they are thugs. Dude Bunny is equipped with a winter cap pulled over his ears, white chocolate bling dangling from his neck, and baggy pants drooping at his little bunny paws. Offensive? Not until you acknowledge that Dude Bunny is milk chocolate. Racist? Yes. But, good news, it doesn't stop there. Diva Bunny is here to save the day. Diva Bunny, besides having a nice figure, is sporting a candy necklace and trendy outfit considering it's carved into chocolate.
I must admit it took me a few solid minutes to stop laughing everywhere. The sheer absurdity of these bunnies was overwhelming and I have so many questions and judgements to cast on people who buy these things!
Oh well, what can you do? Me? I asked my parents to get me one for Easter...
